Clarissa “Must Write On” (135)

I am a very bad casuist; and the pleasure I take in writing to you, who are the only one to whom I can disburden my mind, may make me, as I have hinted, very partial to my own wishes: else, if it were not an artful evasion beneath an open and frank heart to wish to be complied with, I would be glad methinks to be permitted still to write to you; and only to have such occasional returns by Mr. Hickman’s pen, as well as cover, as might set me right when I am wrong; confirm me, when right, and guide me where I doubt. This would enable me to proceed in the difficult path before me with more assuredness. For whatever I suffer from the censure of others, if I can preserve your good opinion, I shall not be altogether unhappy, let what will befall me. And indeed, my dear, I know not how to forbear writing. I have now no other employment or diversion. And I must write on, although I were not to send it to any body. You have often heard me own the advantages I have found from writing down every thing of moment that befalls me; and of all I think, and of all I do, that may be of future use to me; for, besides that this helps to form one to a style, and opens and expands the ductile mind, every one will find that many a good thought evaporates in thinking; many a good resolution goes off, driven out of memory perhaps by some other not so good. But when I set down what I will do, or what I have done, on this or that occasion; the resolution or action is before me either to be adhered to, withdrawn, or amended; and I have entered into compact with myself, as I may say; having given it under my own hand to improve, rather than to go backward, as I live longer.
I would willingly, therefore, write to you, if I might; the rather as it would be the more inspiriting to have some end in view in what I write; some friend to please; besides merely seeking to gratify my passion for scribbling.

5 thoughts on “Clarissa “Must Write On” (135)

  1. Debra

    I have added this to Meghan's useful set of letters because when I was reading this, the passage above really struck me in terms of our class. Here Clarissa explains how she "must write on" and details the reasons. But she also explains why she would rather write to someone than write to merely gratify herself. I think this is a good passage for us to tackle, as it bears so closely on the issues of our project.

  2. Keri Mathis

    I marked this passage as well while I was reading this volume. In this passage, Clarissa makes it clear that even if Anna is unable to respond frequently to her letters that she must continue to write to her because of Anna’s ability to “set [her] right when [she is] wrong; confirm [her], when right, and guide [her] where [she] doub[ts].” In making this statement, Clarissa is seeking guidance and confirmation that she does not feel she can feasibly find herself in writing for her own purposes. Her request for this guidance here also demonstrates once again how much hope she has in her relationship with Anna—Anna offers Clarissa a window into the world outside of her relationship with Lovelace and also a connection to Clarissa’s past and the family who was (and is) so dear to her. Anna is, then, more than just a person to whom Clarissa can write; she is, I think, a lifeline for Clarissa. I thought it was also interesting here that she claims at the end of this excerpt to write to Anna because that will give her “some end in view” in what she writes and to please her friend. I am not exactly sure what to make of this reference to seeing an “end in view” when writing to someone rather than to oneself, but I thought it might be worth interrogating further.

  3. Meghan Hancock

    I think her use of "end in view" is interesting here too, and I think she's speaking to the fact that writing to Anna makes her feel less alone and like she has a sense of purpose. She has (as we've said a lot this week) basically no agency, and this is her only way of feeling actually needed by someone. This would also be interesting to think about in the context of our conversations we've been having about blogs. What "end in view" do the writers of the blogs we're following have?

  4. Megan

    This is an interesting letter to think about in light of having now finished the novel while using this blog as a discussion space. I like the way Clarissa talks about how writing isn't the same when she is writing only for herself. The audience, even if it is only one person, is important to her. I think blogs work similarly. Much of what in a personal blog could be written in a journal, but the writer clearly wants an audience of some sort. Similarly, we could have been writing critical responses or even short free writing pieces for Debra or for ourselves as we read through the novel, but the act of writing to each other on this blog created a very different sense of writing, adding an element of community to it, that we would not have had with other types of written responses to the novel.

  5. Kendra

    I think this letter is telling of how Clarissa crafts herself through writing and foreshadows what we will later see in the mad papers. Writing allows Clarissa to work through the rape and they were written without the intention of being sent to anyone (as noted by the condition the letters are found). This letter also shows the importance and need for Clarissa to write down everything, especially because when she is dying the letters allow her to have a clear name.

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