Respect
A high degree of mutual respect, a rare commodity in our society
and in our schools, is critical to the success of learning. Only
in a climate where people feel they can be themselves without
facing ridicule, prejudice, or alienation, can people take risks,
make mistakes, and keep growing as persons. Without such
respect, everyone's energies get diverted toward self-protection
and survival-the very opposite of what is needed for learning to
take place.
We can no longer simply assume, as many of our own teachers did,
that students will come to school ready to respect us and the knowledge we offer them. We must earn the
respect of young people. We must convince them that we know
things of real value to them if we are to persuade them to work
hard. We can't just throw the hard stuff at them and tell them,
"I am your teacher; I know what you need; and you'll thank me
later for making you learn this." Above all, we need to
demonstrate respect in order to receive it.
Yvonne Griffin put it this way: "Twenty-three years ago, when I
began to teach, I wanted most to prove to students that I could
be somebody's friend. The part about respect seemed less
important. But I've learned that it is by demanding and offering
respect that I do get to be somebody's friend, rather than the
other way around."
Respect must exist among students as well as between students
and teacher. Nothing inhibits active learning in a class half so
much as students' fears that they will embarrass themselves in
front of other kids. Many students will accept a failing grade
for "class participation" rather than expose themselves to
potential ridicule by saying something awkward or unpopular. And
if students are not participating, they are probably not learning
much, either.
Most students understand school rules about not hitting or
swearing. They are also supposed to be taught something about
respecting people of different cultures or backgrounds. But
rarely do they learn how to be kind or act decently to classmates
who've been labeled "unpopular." We must find a way to get
students to join the conversation about mutual respect, so that
it won't always be our role to try to cut down on the teasing and
hazing.
In my son's middle school, some classes have adopted a system
where a student who gets caught "putting down" another kid has
to stand in front of the class and say something positive about
the person he or she has disrespected. It's called a "putup,"
and it's up to the class to decide if the positive comment sounds
sincere. If not, the offender has to stand there and keep
trying. There is often some good-natured teasing involved at
this point, but it's at the expense of the one who did the
putting-down, not the victim.
Developing a climate of mutual respect is part of teaching about
science, or music, or irregular verbs. Such respect develops
most readily among adults and young people who know they are doing
important work together - not necessarily among groups that spend
the most time talking about it.
(Fried, pp42-4)
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