Anna Pushes for Marriage (L188)

I have neither time nor patience, my dear friend, to answer every material article in your last letters just now received. Mr. Lovelace’s proposals are all I like of him. And yet (as you do) I think, that he concludes them not with the warmth and earnestness which we might naturally have expected from him. Never in my life did I hear or read of so patient a man, with such a blessing in his reach. But wretches of his cast, between you and me, my dear, have not, I fancy, the ardors that honest men have. Who knows, as your Bell once spitefully said, but he may have half a dozen creatures to quit his hands of before he engages for life?—Yet I believe you must not expect him to be honest on this side of his grand climacteric.
He, to suggest delay from a compliment to be made to Lord M. and to give time for settlements! He, a part of whose character it is, not to know what complaisance to his relations is—I have no patience with him! You did indeed want an interposing friend on the affecting occasion which you mention in yours of yesterday morning. But, upon my word, were I to have been that moment in your situation, and been so treated, I would have torn his eyes out, and left it to his own heart, when I had done, to furnish the reason for it. 
Would to Heaven to-morrow, without complimenting any body, might be his happy day!—Villain! After he had himself suggested the compliment!—And I think he accuses YOU of delaying!—Fellow, that he is!—How my heart is wrung—
But as matters now stand betwixt you, I am very unseasonable in expressing my resentments against him.—Yet I don’t know whether I am or not, neither; since it is the most cruel of fates, for a woman to be forced to have a man whom her heart despises. You must, at least, despise him; at times, however. His clenched fist offered to his forehead on your leaving him in just displeasure—I wish it had been a pole-axe, and in the hand of his worst enemy.
***
However, since you are thrown upon a fool, marry the fool at the first opportunity; and though I doubt that this man will be the most ungovernable of fools, as all witty and vain fools are, take him as a punishment, since you cannot as a reward: in short, as one given to convince you that there is nothing but imperfection in this life.
And what is the result of all I have written, but this—Either marry, my dear, or get from them all, and from him too.
You intend the latter, you’ll say, as soon as you have opportunity. That, as above hinted, I hope quickly to furnish you with: and then comes on a trial between you and yourself.
These are the very fellows that we women do not naturally hate. We don’t always know what is, and what is not, in our power to do. When some principal point we have long had in view becomes so critical, that we must of necessity choose or refuse, then perhaps we look about us; are affrighted at the wild and uncertain prospect before us; and, after a few struggles and heart-aches, reject the untried new; draw in your horns, and resolve to snail-on, as we did before, in a track we are acquainted with. 
I shall be impatient till I have your next. I am, my dearest friend,
Your ever affectionate and faithful ANNA HOWE.

4 thoughts on “Anna Pushes for Marriage (L188)

  1. Keri Mathis

    I have posted this letter from Anna to give yet another example of Anna trying to direct Clarissa in her tough decision-making. What is interesting here, I think, is Anna's references to Lovelace as a fool in whom she can see little hope, yet she continues to suggest that Clarissa marry him. We have seen this advice many, many times, but in this letter it is juxtaposed very clearly with her obvious dislike (or even hatred) for Lovelace.Furthermore, Anna's advice here indicates only two options for Clarissa, which I think could be yet another topic to explore in terms of agency.

  2. Debra

    Anna is much more pragmatic than Clarissa. She knows Lovelace is a "fool" but she also understand Clarissa has limited options in terms of the social world they inhabit: marry or get away. Clarissa, however, is not pragmatic–she is driven more by "principle." I think they complement each other well in this. I also think Lovelace would have had a MUCH harder time with Anna than he does with Clarissa.

  3. anthony o'keeffe

    It's always fun to see Anna express–as she does so well–her ongoing responses to Lovelace's actions and attitude. I think her free, and often witty, commentary not only helps Clarissa think more clearly about her situation, but helps her–in its vivacity–deal emotionally with the nature of her situation. Notable also: even though Anna presents Clarissa with her limited options, she wishes to somehow get Clarissa away from Lovelace's direct power until her cousin Morden arrives.

  4. Keri Mathis

    I like what you both have said here — I think it is important to note the differences between Anna and Clarissa to better understand how their friendship (and their correspondence on these matters, in general) works.And yes, Lovelace would certainly have his work cut out for him with Anna, I believe! Though she does seem to admire the challenge he poses for Clarissa. There was a scene earlier in the novel where Anna laments her relationship with Mr. Hickman because he is almost too doting and predictable.

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