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Can a boy fill the crushing quiet of life's challenger-deep?


Rural Florida, where the suburbs faded into swamp and coast—more water than land - will always be my soggy and salty ORDINARY WORLD. Somehow I have always been confronted with the unshakable feeling that the World, this temporal moment in the history of the planet and her cosmos, was one which was never meant for me. I have always somehow known that my OUTER PROBLEM is that I am part of the wrong history.

More realistically, my OUTER PROBLEM is probably just a magnification of the crushing solidarity—borderline boredom—that I have always felt in, and with, the world: my INNER PROBLEM.

It was Dr. Felix Padilla who was my THRESHOLD GUARDIAN. One semester, one chance for a 4.0—my SPECIAL ERRAND—no more last chances. I will always be indebted to Emily Badger, my SHADOW MENTOR, for teaching me to learn again—to learn how to blend what I want and what I need.

With my SPECIAL ERRAND completed I was able to finish my undergraduate degree and move onto graduate school, my SPECIAL WORLD where I finally began to feel at ease; where I could finally challenge the world was constructed and how the world constructed me. Finally, I learned the skills and acquired the tools to not only face the ORDEAL of remaking the World but also the ability to RESURRECT myself productively in that World; to conquer my INNER PROBLEM.

Yet make no mistake, my OUTER PROBLEM still continues. This World is not yet my own.


If all of this sounds hokey and silly, or if you have a hard time envisioning what I mean when I say "this World was not meant for me," then I will direct you to three animes that I think fairly accurately—if not strangely—represent my vision of Me Story:

(I would advise watching at least the first episode of each in the order which I have posted them here)